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hello. please help me. i'm stuck in a route of confusion. perhaps you think i'm a drama queen (king), or you think i overlook the most basic principles of life. what does that even mean?

one day. TNT for my brain (thanks michelle, without you that would never exist.)

i love making references that others just won't get. are you one of them? ask me. i'll explain. i'm like a puzzle you can't solve. i have to tell you the answers. after you know them, it's ruined.

me, ruined.

nothing new.

i used to be a king

Seems like money problems never go away no matter what you do. Today I got a wonderful call from Great Lakes Higher Ed. They handle all the past due accounts for Wells Fargo student loans. I found out I'm behind $1,100 dollars. It's a shame I want to have a life for myself or else maybe I could pay my loans as well as other stuff.

College is a joke. A cruel fucking joke. Spend thousands of dollars thinking it will get you somewhere, only to get lowballed everytime you turn a corner. My advice to my children... if I ever have any or live long enough to... SKIP college. You can make $18 bucks an hour with no higher education.

Sure I could not have bought a house, renovated it, got married, bought some things for my self, gotten health insurance... but yay what an exciting life that would be. Live in a box and stay home my entire fucking life.

It just annoys me that I have such a unique set of skills for this entire area, and I have such an important role doing what I do working with brand image and how people view my workplace when they aren't there. Yet I don't make nearly as much as some others whose role, while still important, is easily fulfilled with others. Maybe mine is too. But if so, the entire image changes and quality, more than likely, goes down the tubes.

Is it so much to ask for when one excels at what he does, to be compensated for that? Maybe I am? Maybe I'm selfish? Maybe I'm just a whining little bitch.

Whatever.

Another Sunday Night

Leah's parents left this morning at about 10. It always sucks to see them go, they are good company and fun to be around. After they left we went to Rapid and picked up a couple things. I decided to start working on the truck, hoping it would be easier since my dad let me borrow his rotary buffer/sander and his wagner power painter.

Got back to the house and started to grind away at the rust. Stupid adhesive pads wouldn't stick worth a crap though. They worked just long enough to get the box done. Then I had to learn how to use the wagner, a god damn mess if you ask me. But the results worked pretty well. I got the box done, excluding the inside, which I want to spray in a truck liner. This week I'll finish the rest of the body. Then I'm going to paint all the trim, bumpers and wheels flat primer black. After that I need to figure out what kind of stencil I want on the hood. Originally I wanted a Jolly Roger, but I'm thinking of something else, since that might be cliche or something.

Anyway. I'm glad that I've taken the motivation to actually do it and am doing it. After that was all done we ran to Wal Mart to get a few things and got back not too long ago. Now we are just hanging out watching House and computing. As Kraftwerk said, "It's More Fun to Compute."

Weekend

Leah's parents came today from Oacoma. It's been a good time so far, just hanging out and talking. We had a fire and made some s'mores, Leah's favorite. They have to leave early though tomorrow morning because Connie has to work at 2 AM on Monday. No fun I'm sure.

The guy is going to buy my pathfinder on Monday. I didn't get the $7k like I wanted, but $6750 instead. It will still be paid off this month, which will free up $240 a month, a huge step towards Vegas and paying off other debts.

As for other happenings I went to the dump this morning and got rid of all the trash in the back of my truck. Was hot and dusty. The wind kept blowing around the ash from the previously burned wood. Left my legs sooty. At the moment I'm just going through some music I downloaded and relaxing. Leah and her parents are upstairs watching Valentine's Day. I'm not super interested in it, seems to be more of a chick flick.

And he's off!

Well the potential buyer of my Pathfinder has now left on his way to his mechanic to get it checked out. If it comes back golden, I get $7000. Which would pay it off. That's all I ask for.

what i did tonight. haha.

Well this is it. My first, actually second attempt, at maintaining a blog. Tonight was pretty uneventful. I'm letting a hopeful buyer take my Pathfinder into his mechanic to have it checked out before he buys it, fearing something would happen that would leave him out of a new car. What a joke. Kind of makes me feel like I'm trying to screw him over or something. I hope it all goes well though. It would help our financial situation tremendously, about $240 a month extra.

As for other happenings, I decided at 10:30pm to put up some drywall in our laundry room. Only one piece, but it's a start and a start is what motivates me to finish it. Tomorrow I'll have to move out the washer and dryer and finish insulating the outer walls and put the rest of the drywall up.

I still have to tear off the tin and seal off all the leaks though. So the ceiling might be a week or two before I can insulate and drywall it. Either way it's coming together. If we ever get the house presentable, every room, I won't hesitate to put a For Sale sign up in the yard. When the house sells, it's only a matter of months before Vegas is in our sights.'

I can't wait.